We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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