he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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