you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
