I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
