idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
