woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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