trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
