I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
