Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
