I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
and she was petting her beer can
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I lost the right to judge tonight
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
