Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Welp...herpes.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
