Sponge bath it is.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
