i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
