Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
