I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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