the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
