Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Randomize
