at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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