Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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