Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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