i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
