I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
