my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Someone signed my nipple.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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