I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
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