so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
