Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
