Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
