This dress was meant to end up on your floor
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Randomize
