I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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