doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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