im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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