ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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