i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
