I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
