So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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