you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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