I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
