I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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