If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
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