i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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