I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize