No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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