i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
