I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
