What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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