some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
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