Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
