we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
50% drunk capacity currently
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
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