whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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