The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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