Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
