Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
