Sry I called you an 8
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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