So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Randomize