Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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