matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
