You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
