What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
