they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
