It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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