If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Vodka?
Forever.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
