I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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