best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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